The S-word

I've banned the s-word in my classroom.

That's right. Students in my classroom are not allowed to say "Shut up." The first student who fires an s-word invariably begins an alternating volley of the same, and I can see the furrowed brows as they spit the phrase at each other. It creates a nasty atmosphere. So I've banned it.

I instruct my students to say "Have a nice day" as a substitute.

Why?

One, because I hate that plastic little motto and its superficiality, so I'm co-opting it for my own use as an insult to it.

Two, kids can say "Have a nice day, Michael" in as nasty a tone as they want, and it still doesn't cut, even if everyone knows it's code for the s-word. So it takes away their ability to slash at each other.

Three, everyone sees the humor in the change, and now will playfully lob a "Lisa, have a nice day" at the talking kid with feigned exasperation, who can only respond with "No, Lauren, you have a nice day!" At this point everyone is smiling, the atmosphere in the room is light instead of angry, and we can move on with our business.

When someone forgets and lets an s-word fly, I remind him with "Sara, don't use the s-word" with just a bit of ersatz shock. The kid will invariably repeat herself, auto-correcting with "Have a nice day."

Hey, you can laugh all you want: it works. And they take ownership of it and run with it.

And if you don't like that, you can just have a nice day.