More on Athletics

When I was a student at Mayfair, there was a motto painted high on the wall of the locker room proclaiming "Athletics Teaches a Way of Life." It has long since been painted over, and I think that's a pity.

There is some great character building that happens when athletic programs are run by coaches who understand that the whole purpose of high school intra-mural sports goes way beyond training the body: the characters of young people are refined in the crucible of competiton and the hard work that goes into preparing for the competition: they learn how to win with grace, and how to lose and retain dignity; they learn how to pull together (in many sports) as a team, how to sacrifice for the good of the group, and how to value their individual contribution in the right perspective. These experiences will shape who they will be for the rest of their lives. Many have never worked so hard in their lives as they do during the week at practice, and have never pushed themselves as hard, never tested the mettle of their bodies and spirits, as they do when they're out there sweating and straining during what is thought of as mere training for the competition. And that's true, except that the real competition isn't a game: it's life.

Our coaches are excellent because to a man, they demonstrate that they understand this. They also know that almost to a boy, their players are looking for some adult, any adult who is not their father, to use as a yardstick to measure what a man should be. Boys have to separate from their fathers and find their own autonomy ("teenage rebellion" to the layman, "individuation" to the adolescent psychologist), and other adult male role models, who are metaphorical stars to steer by for these emerging young men, are never more important as they are at this stage.

How many don't have fathers at home, or have dysfunctional relationships with their fathers that complicate or prevent their fathers from guiding them through this transition? In my case, it was my father's alcoholism that prevented me from having a close relationship with him from the time I was about twelve, and the result was a lot of buried anger and (ironically) teenage drinking during my high school years. My coaches served as surrogates who required discipline, hard work and commitment from me, and from whom I received the praise and recognition I felt I never got from my own dad. And that process of making men continues on the fields, tracks, courts and mats of our school.

I love having athletes as students. They are, by and large, more disciplined, show fewer behavior problems, are better and harder workers, tend to mind their own business, don't give up easily, perform well during group assignments, and complete homework and outside projects consistently. In general, they just have higher standards for themselves.

If I had a paintbrush and the right key, I'd sneak in the locker room and do a little painting. But our coaches already know.